Upside Down World — Fear’s hometown
What would you be doing if you had no fear? Where would you travel?
This last weekend I confronted one of my demons: travelling alone with my 2 kids. You see México isn’t right now the safest country (at least that is the news on media) but in which part of the world are you completely safe? So I had “literally” this journey through fear, to the point I was actually about to cancel my trip because I was living the “Upside Down World”.
I was making my luggage and then suddenly it hit me — I’m gonna stay with a friend I haven’t seen for 4 years and we have been just texting each other (not talking) through facebook and whatsapp so … what if somebody else accessed his account? What if all this time I’ ve been talking to someone else? He had not posted lately on his account, his picture on whatsapp had his face covered! OMG I even shared pictures of my kids, so did he… but what if he was just going with the flow?
I panicked! But behind all the drama my brain was going through every little paragraph of text we have shared. I decided to be calmed, tried not to give it a long thought! My kids where excited how could I say: Nope this isn’t happening after all. -Because I fear something I’m not even sure of?-
I realised that we had said things that only my friend would know, so I was aware it was him, but yet my mind kept looking for those scary corners. My mind kept saying call him, make sure it’s his voice!
So I tried calling him a bit late to hear that it was actually him. No reply. I wrote asking him for his address, no reply. Plan b, I wrote to a mutual friend sharing I was gonna visit him… maybe he would tell me something like: going where? he doesn’t live there anymore! Something that could either confirm my suspicion or leave me at peace, but no reply either.
All night it was just me and my mind. It was pure fear. I was looking for that opportunity to just cancel stay in a totally controlled safe place, my house. I imagined all this “Men on Fire” scene and then I realised:
Wow! I have crossed the line, I was actually like in “Stranger Things” in that Upside Down world where everything was just bad and I felt ill and scared!
I remembered that we attract what we think, and there was no way I wanted to live something negative!… It was hard to cut all those thoughts but I was able to! I decided to shift into something positive. I started to imagine me and my kids happy, going and coming back just fine. Having quality time together.
Next day the answers where there. His friend said: Please say hello to him from me! And my friend sent me his address. Still I was thinking you must be cautious! I arrived and my friend calls me and asks me to walk out of the bus station to a near store. I heard him , he sounded different but pronunciation was how I remembered, since he is a foreigner. I was just thinking: Ohhhh my Universe! You are sure putting me through a test! I walked with eyes wide open and I called him and said I don’t see you. He said sorry had to move be there in a 1 minute.
So you can imagine my thoughts right? But still I was thinking, nope, he just had to move! There is no other weird explanation! And finally I see him! All my worries finally dropped a 100% felt lighter and officially on a weekend break!
What did I learn? I didn’t realised how afraid I was of life, of not moving on my own. I mean I have travelled alone very far but it’s not the same when you have to be the one that protects others. And I really wanted to demonstrate myself I could! And I did! And I’m so happy I didn’t make that call to cancel everything!
My treasure was this moment where the little one sat by his older brother and they where eating a chocolate granola bar and he just kept moving his little feet on this relaxed, and completely satisfying way only kids now how! They played so much, laughed so much and my friend’s family was so nice with us we just had a great great weekend.
I know life is risky sometimes, we must be aware of the reality, but not freeze. If we don’t make great memories, exchange beautiful gestures with others, live what the world has to give, what will we be taking with us when we finally have to leave this beautiful place?
The world is too big to just walk a little peace of it.
This is the only thing I can actually show my kids, how can they create beautiful moments in there lives, be honest and connect with beautiful people. But also take care of themselves.
